


Tonpa’s Ass Pickles

by Phangee



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Anal Gaping, Crack, Fetish, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-29
Updated: 2019-03-29
Packaged: 2019-12-26 08:24:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18279464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phangee/pseuds/Phangee
Summary: Leorio is aroused by the sweet aroma of pickles but where is that scent coming from???





	Tonpa’s Ass Pickles

**Author's Note:**

> This is completely and utterly crack. If you’re reading this, I’m terribly sorry
> 
> ~chainboi

Leorio loves pickles. If Kurapika hadn’t existed then there wouldn’t have been anything he loved more than pickles. He could eat them for every meal and never tire of them. Their smell, their texture, their juice and their thickness had blood rushing down to his dick. 

He wasn’t quite sure why he was suddenly filled with thoughts of pickles. It was around two in the morning and he had to get up at around five-thirty for an early morning lecture. His boyfriend was asleep next to him and that upset him. It wasn’t fair that Kurapika could fall asleep without being bothered by the sweet aroma of pickles while he couldn’t. Why on earth did it smell like pickles?! They didn’t even have any! Kurapika had confiscated them all and donated them to a food pantry when Leorio wasn’t able to control his sexual desires any longer. 

He was laying on his back, face up to the ceiling and doing his best to will away his erection. He was not low enough of a person to jack off whilst images of pickles flashed through his mind...

...pickles. They were so intoxicating. He wanted to feel them, smell them, slime them up with his mouth and bite into them, he wanted to hear that satisfying crunch and feel the juices spill down his chin and fingers. His dick twitched at the thought and oh god, he couldn’t handle it anymore. He rolled over onto his side, and wrapped an arm around Kurapika’s waist, pulling him closer so that the blonde’s back was pressed up against his chest. The blonde didn’t stir, just continued sleeping. He could change that though. He started to rub his hand up and down the blonde’s flat stomach, while he placed gentle kisses against the side of Kurapika’s face. He rubbed his dick against the blonde’s ass and stifled back a moan.

“...pika, wake up.” He murmured into his boyfriend’s neck as he trailed his tongue over the flesh. All Kurapika did was squirm away from Leorio and cuddle back into the blankets. Leorio growled a bit and pulled the blonde back to him.

“Leorio-go to bed.” A pause. “And stop touching me.” 

“Baby, wake up,” he purred into his ear and moved his hand lower to grasp the blonde’s hip; holding him still while he thrusted his hips against him. 

“Leorio! Knock it off-“ A pair of lips pressed against his own and his smaller frame was enveloped by Leorio’s larger one. Leorio had crawled over on top of him and continued to roam his boyfriend’s body with his hands while his lips traveled down Kurapika’s face and onto his neck. One hand found the waistband of Kurapika’s pants and started to tug them down his hips. With his face buried in the blonde’s neck, he missed the way the blonde’s teal-blue eyes flashed to red, he also missed the knee that shot up and got him real good in his dick. 

Leorio got off the blonde to kneel over into himself and try to reduce the growing pain. He howled like crazy and that only irritated the blonde more. Kurapika pulled his pants back up and grabbed Leorio’s arm, dragging him off the bed, onto the floor, and out of their shared room and into the hallway. Leorio heard the door slam shut behind him and the click of the lock. 

He sat there shocked. That was not what he had been expecting. He cursed at the blonde through the door and heard a muffled “fuck off” as his only response. He had his back leaned against the bedroom door and closed his eyes, sighing. And that’s when it hit him. The scent that started this whole thing to begin with. His eyes snapped open and he stood up, curiously wandering down the hall. The smell wasn’t coming from Gon and Killua’s shared room but rather from the living room. He peeked around the corner and into the room and almost shit himself. Tonpa. Of all fucking people. Was asleep, on their couch.  
Leorio let out a god awful screech that awoke all the other occupants of the house, not including Tonpa, he was still snoozing. Gon and Killua raced out into the hallway and next to Leorio to see just what it was he was screeching at. They, too, began screeching.

It wasn’t just the fact that it was Tonpa that had them screaming, but rather it was the fact that it was Tonpa, naked from head to toe, with his ass presented up in the air, with pickles sticking out of it. 

Kurapika joined them a minute later, and groaned, “what the fuck is up with you men and your disgusting pickle fetishes.” 

“Pickle fetishes?!” Killua scoffed. 

“What’s a fetish?” Gon asked. 

Just then Tonpa groaned and rolled over off of the couch. Pickle and his nasty ass juices dripping everywhere. It was his head slamming into the coffee table that awoke Tonpa and he sat up, the pickles making their way all the way up his ass this time. 

“Leorio?? Blondie??? Kids???? What are you guys doing here?????” 

“What are we doing here??” Leorio growled, his hand palming his erection, “I think the more important question is what are you doing here?!” Noticing everyone’s eyes on his working hand, he grabbed the blonde and held him in front of him, blocking the view. 

Kurapika held back to urge to punch him and instead focused on Tonpa. “Get out. Now.” 

Tonpa stood up quickly, too quickly. His dick jiggled and a couple of pickles fell out of his ass. Killua was quick enough to cover Gon’s eyes but, unfortunately, wasn’t quick enough to cover his own. He almost threw up, “Take your ass pickles with you, you old pervert!”

“Killua,” Gon spoke, “what’s an ass pickle? What’s a pervert?” 

“Tonpa’s an ass pickle and Leorio’s a pervert.” Killua replied dryly and the Kurta couldn’t agree more. Leorio was offended. 

They watched, in full disgust, as Tonpa picked up the pickles and ate them before wobbling out of the apartment. His asshole gaping.

“You wanna gape like that, baby?” Leorio asked huskily into Kurapika’s ear. The blonde stiffened before turning around and knocking Leorio out.

“What’s gaping?” Gon asked. 

Killua grimaced and responded, “Tonpa’s ass, Gon, Tonpa’s ass.” 

“Wait, what’s an ass?”


End file.
